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This is why women should not take men shopping
against their will.

After I retired, my wife insisted that I
accompany her on her trips to
Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found
shopping boring and
preferred to get in and get out. Equally
unfortunately, my wife is like most
women - she loved to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following
letter from the local

Dear Mrs. Samsel,

Over the past six months, your husband=2 0has
been causing quite a commotion
in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior
and have been forced to ban
both of you from the store. Our complaints
against Mr. Samsel are listed
below and are documented by our video
surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly
put them in people's carts
when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares
to go off at 5-minute

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the
floor leading to the women's

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her
in an official voice,
"Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried
to put a bag of M&M's on

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET
FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping
department and told o ther
shoppers he'd invite them in if they would
bring pillows and blankets from
the bedding department.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could
help him he began crying and
screamed, 'Why can't you people just
leave me alone?'

9. September 4: Looked right into the security
camera and used it as a
mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the
hunting department, he asked
the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store
suspiciously while loudly humming the
' Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he
practiced his 'Madonna look' by
using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when
people browsed through
yelled, 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over
the loud speaker, he assumed
a fetal position and screamed, 'OH NO!

And last, but not least...

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut
the door, waited awhile, then
yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no
toilet paper in here!'



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thats a lot of fun stuff to do with spare time



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